Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Modern Conveniences?

Priests give blessings, so it would seem logical that they could also lay a curse, right?  Would a curse have any negative effect on an inanimate object?

Tuesday is typically my day off, and though I am not rigid in my protection of it, I do try to avoid work on Tuesdays as much as possible.  Things being what they are, though, today was one of those days where out of those hours not devoted to sleep, I have enjoyed only about two and a half that have not been dedicated to work in one variety or another.  A staff lunch, some necessary emails, and a few calls occupied part of that time.  The remainder was dedicated to downloading (the re-downloading) Skype and installing a webcam on my laptop computer so that we could interview a potential employee online this evening.  For whatever reason, my computer is not working correctly.  The program would start and after what seemed like twenty minutes, I would be alerted that the program was not responding.  I was, of course, already aware that the program was not responding.  That is why I had pushed ctrl+alt+del seventeen times.  

Having finally brought up the task manager, I asked it to end the various programs.  Apparently it was unable to do so.  Annoyed, and secretly hoping the machine would burst into flames, I restarted the computer but moved too quickly.  Like people, computers can only be asked to do so much when they first get up, and they become indignant when asked to do more.  I slowed down and waited.  And then waited a bit longer.  Presently I discovered that my computer had apparently joined some sort of electronics union and doesn't have to do anything  that it feels beneath its dignity  Anything but the simplest of computations are beneath its dignity.  After having nearly thrown it from my second story office window, I decided that perhaps I needed to find a better response.  Besides, I didn't want all of the electronics to go on strike and try to harm my iPod for being a scab, so I restarted the computer and left for the west side of Rapid City to buy a wig (more about that later).  There is something eminently satisfying about buying a wig.  Feeling refreshed, I returned to the battle.  

Upon retuning I found that union lawyers had negotiated a workable contract for my computer, allowing that it would not be required to work as it is supposed to, but well enough to proceed.  I changed clothes, celebrated the evening Mass for the parish and came right back to my office.  A riot had broken out.  The interview team had gathered and had managed to get the interviewee on Skype but the computer had gone berserk again.  I tried peaceful talks with the infernal contraption for several minutes while the interviewee enjoyed a pleasant view of my armpit as I wheedled with the camera.  The talks fell apart, and I decided to exercise the Reagan option.  If the computer would not cooperate, I would fire it and hire better help  I unplugged the computer and we decided we would have to do a telephone interview.

Which is why I am so glad that I spent most of my day-off trying to make the thing work. 

1 comment:

  1. lol sorry to hear about your bad day, but your post was funny.

    I have a friend who seems to always be able to magically fix computers just by his presence. He swears that a person can output a certain type of energy that will either mess up a computer or help it to work. Sort of like cell phone signals and airplanes or something. So maybe next time you can find somebody like my friend who has the right chemical balance to send out those good vibes. ;-)


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